Sunday, June 7, 2009

Bizarro world

Every night before we go to bed (and by we, I actually mean Eric...but Eric is currently out of town) we get Jake up to go to the bathroom. So last night, I go into Jake's room to find him laying with his head at the wrong end of the bed, his foot on the bedside table and a tube of chapstick in his hand. What's up with that? I tell him I'm going to pick him up (easier said than done when dealing with 50 pounds of dead weight) and take him to the bathroom. I gently put him down in front of the toilet, tell him to go potty and step out into the hallway. I leave the door cracked as I always do to make sure he does what he is supposed to do. Jake stood there for a second then walked over to the sink and put his head down and tried to go back to sleep while standing up. So back in I go and steer him towards the toilet and tell him again to go potty. Instead, he turns around, closes the toilet and sits down, perching his elbows on his knees and resting his chin in his hands and closes his eyes. I give up at this point and just try to get him back to bed which is quite difficult since I am laughing hysterically. I get him back to bed, peek in on Megan and then walk down the hall to my room.

Five minutes later, I hear Megan sort of whimpering in her sleep which usually means she needs to go to the bathroom. Sure enough, I soon hear her walking across the hall to the bathroom. Normally, no matter what the hour, Megan announces "I'm goin' potty", but there was no such announcement. Instead of hearing the sound of the toilet opening, I hear the sound of the faucet going full blast. I walk into the bathroom just as she is pulling up on the stopper and dunking her stuffed horse into the pool of water. "My horsey needs a bath"" she tells me. I grab the horse, dry it off and ask Megan if she needs to go potty and she tells me she does, but she starts walking back into the hallway saying something about having to "get the thing and wash it". I redirect her to the bathroom where she finally goes potty and then returns to her room, climbs into bed and promptly begins snoring. which point I look around for the hidden camera, head back to my room and hope that I will depart bizzaro world by morning.