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Friday, May 22, 2009

If a wolf invited a baby chick over for dinner...

...a short story by Jake

One night a wolf sticked his hand in a nest to get a egg. He brings the egg to his house. He waited until the egg hatched so he could eat it for dinner. When he ate the chick he spit it out because it did not taste good but the chick was still alive. It just had a very bad brooz.

The End

The Spin Cycle: Pets

small cycle
My family has always had pets. My parents' first "child" was a mutt named Danny. I don't really remember him very well since he died when I was about 7. I do remember the day that he died, though. We were getting ready to go somewhere for some type of family fun and my dad had just found that Danny has just laid down and died. He was an old dog but that didn't mean that my dad wasn't upset. We were all waiting in the car and my dad walked over with a very solemn look on his face and told us girls that Danny had died. The words were barely out of his mouth when one of us - I truly don't remember which one of us sisters said it - asked excitedly "so does that mean we can get a cat now?" How nice of us to be so gentle and caring to my mourning father. We did get a cat - 2 actually - but I'm not sure how much time lapsed between Danny's death and the arrival of Patches and Willie (named after Willie Nelson) (we lived in Texas at the time and my dad wanted to name the cat something that would remind us of Texas once we moved along).

Willie was one homely cat. He was an orange tabby cat with really big ears, but boy did I love this cat. Willie was with us for about 8 years before he was diagnosed with Feline Leukemia and we had to put him down. I remember that trip to the vet quite well. Patches seemd to live forever. I think she was with us for about 15 years - through a couple moves halfway across the country, countless camping trips, and lots of mischeif.

I had a hampster once. I forgot to give it water and it died.

I had a crawfish - a souveneir from a middle school science class - and on the first night at my house, it somehow escaped the tiny little cage (which was actually a tupperware container with some holes poked in the cover) that was on top of my desk, crawled under the door, down the hall, down the stairs and into the kitchen. My mother discovered it in the middle of the kitchen floor the next morning. Following the instructions of my science teacher, she scooped it into a Ziploc bag and stuck it in the freezer. How weird is that? My science teacher actually gave us instructions on how to euthanize the thing. We disposed of it in the trash later. Maybe he defrosted and crawled away. Who knows?

Fast forward many years and I had Jesse, the best cat in the world, also an orange tabby (trying to replace my beloved Willie? I'll have to mention that to my therapist). He was mine and only mine. I got him at a pet store the day before I left college and he rode from VA all the way to Massachusetts in my car with me. I carried him around all over the place, scared to put him down for fear of him getting stepped on. He was so tiny. Many years later, some friends began to refer to Jesse as "Spalding" (Cast Away had recently come out...remember Wilson?) because they thought he looked like a basketball with legs. Jesse grew up to be a HUGE cat, tipping the scales at 22 pounds, which is more than each of my kids weighed on their first birthdays. Jesse will spend eternity in Kodiak, Alaska near the Buskin River where we buried him after he died.

Currently, my family has one dog, one cat (read more about him here) and two fish. I'm not a huge fan of Max the cat, but I must give him props for being the most tolerant animal on the planet. Megan flings him around, carries him by his paws, sits on him and just generally terrorizes him, and he just sits there and takes it.

Our dog, Piper, is much more tolerable now that she's not really a puppy anymore. Those first several months made me just a leeeetle bit crazy. But.....I digress. She's an extrodinarily smart dog and the kids love her. Recently, a couple home security system companies have stopped by soliciting their products. After I corral the dog, I tell them no thanks - I have Piper! Not only does she protect me from coffee makers, but now I can rest easy also knowing that she will warn me of an impending aerial attack:

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Friday, May 8, 2009

I'm making a mountain

...out of a mole hill, I know. But isn't that what moms are supposed to do in this case?

You see...we have a little star athlete in our house. I am quite convinced that he is going to take very good care of Eric and me in our old age (which is a VERY long way off, by the way) with his multiple professional sports salaries.

First - he's gonna be a fantastic quarterback. He's really got an arm on him. And it's not just that he can throw far. His throws are unbelievably accurate and always have a perfect spin on them. He throws a football way better than I do. Of course, I did not single-handedly change the topography of Kodiak Island from age 18 months and on by throwing as many rocks into the ocean as possible. That would be Jake. This child could be entertained for HOURS by going to one of the many beaches in Kodiak and throwing rocks. Over and over and over again. Kerplunk. Splash. Kerplunk. Keep an eye out for him in the 2025 NFL draft.

Next - he is quite good at soccer as well. This he gets from his dad. I never liked soccer because it required entirely too much running. Outside. When it's hot. He scores a goal in most of his games and is one of the fastest little buggers on the team. David Beckham.....look out. Here comes Jake!

And third - Jake started playing baseball this spring. He had never really played baseball before. Sure, he has one of those Fisher Price baseball tee/pitcher things, but it never seemed to hold his interest for long. But during his first baseball game last week this is what he did:

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The next big league slugger, no? Now I realize that he is no Mark Maguire or A-Rod just yet (and hopefully he will steer away from performance enhancing drugs....'cuz a 6 year old on steroids is just all kinds of wrong), but as his mom, aren't I supposed to be extra proud of him and his excellent sports skills?

And there is that mountain that I am making. I think it's quite nice.

By the way....this post brought to you by small cycle

Tuesday, May 5, 2009

Random Tuesday Thoughts

randomtuesday

The weather guy on our (sortof) local NBC station loves his job. It is quite evident every time he appears on screen. When there are storms brewing...the man is downright giddy! And boy can this guy talk. I guess you could call him "long-winded". (Get it??!?!? A weatherman who is long-winded. Heeee heeee. OK...since I'm the only one laughing, I'll stop now). Well yesterday - it must have been like heaven for this man. There were some severe storms in the area and the channel broadcast this guy and his weather giddiness for 2 hours straight! There are only so many ways you can people that there are thunderstorms coming. And this guy used 'em all. Unless a storm has a name, I see no need for 'round-the-clock weather reports. An update or two or streaming text along the bottom of the screen would be just fine.

I think maybe I should have just stayed in bed today. First of all, I woke up on the wrong side of the bed. Literally and figuratively. And of course, Jake pushed my buttons. Then Megan - who is so overtired after a long, napless weekend - woke up around 6:30 AM. Normally, I have to wake the kid up at 8 and she STILL fights me on it. Normally between 7:10 (when Jake gets on the bus) and 8 when I wake Megan up, I am able to get a head start on some stuff around the house, say "good morning" to Matt and Meredith, check e-mail and facebook, and stalk read my favorite blogs. Oh well.

I also had to go get my annual blood work today. You know....cholesterol, blood sugar, triglycerides....etc. Which means I couldn't eat breakfast. That made me grumpier. After the blood work, I had an eye Dr. appointment. I forgot to bring my glasses with me so when they made me take out my contacts, I was then walking around totally blind. I told them not to dilate my eyes since I didn't have anyone to drive me home and the nurse wrote it on my chart. But the lady who does some of the testing didn't read it and there she went....putting those drops in my eyes. Then they tried to tell me I couldn't put my contacts back in my eyes because the drops might stain them. Great idea. So here I am, hardly able to walk around the Dr. office without bumping into furniture and they expect me to leave the office IN MY CAR without my contacts. Obviously, I ignored their advice and put them back in as soon as I left the office. I think I'm over my grumpiness (for now) and my eyes have finally returned to normal and I'm not forced to wear my sunglasses inside, looking like a drunk trying to hide the bloodshot eyes.

Jake loves to play Madden NFL on the xBox. But he gets really mad when he isn't winning. And he calls it "out of balance" instead of "out of bounds". Cracks me up every time.

I started painting our bedroom this weekend. My intention was to finish it yesterday. But wouldn't you know....I ran out of paint with about 15 square feet of wall left to paint. If I could have wrung out and squeezed the can, I would have. So this morning I was off to Lowes to buy more paint. Guess I'll be painting the bathroom the same color.

It's a good thing that Megan's preschool director puts a chalk board with important info at the front of the drop-off line. Otherwise I would have been sitting there waiting and wondering "where the hell is everyone" tomorrow morning. Apparently tomorrow is a teacher workday.

Have you tried any of the new Starbucks ice cream flavors? Caramel Machiatto ice cream may be the best thing ever. Too bad it isn't fat free.